Wayward

I felt like this topic correlated with some things that I have been talking about in my religion class, as well as this class.  In learning more how to be a better parent and how to discipline my own children I have learned alot from the scriptures.  The scriptures are like a little parenting book from the Lord.  You can see examples of parenting styles that worked and those that didnt.  I have seen in my own family, through my parents example with my brother how one should deal with a "wayward" child.  We spent a day talking about the council system and process one should have within their own family and between their marriage. 

Here's how I've seen it.  My brother Kelen, is the best.  I love him to pieces.  Since about middle school Kelen has struggled with a testimony and knowing if the church is true.  The principles were taught however the importance for them wasn't understood on his part.  I think this is normal, and alot of teenagers go through this phase.  I think the question is what do we do as parents when we have a child who doesn't want to participate in our values and standards?  In my Book of Mormon class we were talking about Moroni 7: 6-9, and how if one does something without real intent or grudingly then it profiteth him nothing.  So what does a parent do when a child is only doing the things because their parents have asked them to do so? 

In my house, although there were times of confrontation, the expectation of what me and my siblings were required to do stood, regardless of how we felt about it.  On Sundays we went to church, and in High School we had to go to early morning seminary.  Now, although my brother did not agree with the things that were always taught, he went because he loved my parents and respected their wishes.  However, once Kelen left for school at Sonoma State in California, he chose to not attend church or anything.  But I think that is when he started to notice a difference, between his life at school, and the evironment he had at home.  Right before I left for my mission, we had a really good chat.  Kelen, is one that wants to do things for his own count, and not because of parental pressure or social influence.  You have to respect that.  How many boys go on missions just because its been drilled in their heads that thats what they do when they turn 19, and then they get in the mission field and then reality hits that they dont have their parents testimonies to lean off of?  I think that happens all too often.  When I left for my mission i have Kelen the challenege to read the Book of Mormon and really think about the principles it was teaching over whatever grammatical errors or historic content he didn't agree with.  He agreed to do so. 

During my mission, Kelen transferred to BYU, he did this all on his own too.  He was accepted and has been excelling in his major there.  Although Kelen hasn't served a mission yet, i still feel really strongly that one day he will.  And if he doesn't he's made alot of progress, And i think it is all because my parents were very open with him, and respected what he wanted, but he did the same.  The relationship they have had has always been an open one, and although what Kelen has wanted to do, has not always been what my parents have wanted for him, the why's of the gospel have been explained.  Kelen hasn't just been given the "To-do" list of the gospel like i think we often do as parents.  Kelen is slowly understanding the doctrine behind each commandment and recieving a testimony for himself.